Coping with Anxiety: Finding Your Circle of Control

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Our world  ̶  both outside and inside the home  ̶  is always changing, so it’s not surprising your anxiety can be high. Focusing on things that are out of our control increases anxiety and can leave you feeling overwhelmed and helpless. These feelings make it challenging to prioritize your own self-care. Amid this stress, remember to show yourself some kindness, because everyone responds to anxiety differently. Here are some tools to identify and care for your anxiety, reduce stress, and create a self-care plan unique to your needs.

Focus on Things You Can Change: Circles of Control

Shifting emotional energy to things within your control reduces stress and helps you find productive ways to reduce anxiety. Easier said than done, right? One tool that can help is a Circle of Control. A Circle of Control is a representation of things that are causing you stress. Stressors are put outside of the circle if they’re things over which you don’t have direct influence. Examples of things outside of your control are those related to other people. Stressors inside of the circle are things of which you do have direct control like your habits and behaviors. Circles of Control create a visual of your anxieties. Letting go of the things outside of your circle helps you focus on those within the circle ̶ the things you actually can change. Self-care plans help you create those changes.

What is a Self-Care Plan?

Self-care plans can help you brainstorm and prioritize things you can do to care for your well-being. They address various levels of health including physical health, mental health, and spiritual health. Plans may also include self-care goals that you’d like to accomplish, such as sticking to a bedtime, or spending 10 minutes a day journaling. While goals may increase your accountability, it’s important to recognize that a self-care plan is a guide to support you, and not a tool to evaluate levels of “productivity.” That can just create more stress. Self-care takes practice and can be hard to prioritize when you’re caring for others. Be gentle with yourself. Remember that self-care plans look different for everyone because they’re built on personal preferences, boundaries, and schedules.

So, How Do You Create a Self-Care Plan?

The list within your Circle of Control is a great place to start. Maybe you’ve noticed that an irregular sleep schedule is impacting how you’re feeling. Creating a consistent sleep routine may be something to include in your self-care plan. You can also fill your plan with general self-care ideas. Consider what you enjoy doing, what you currently do that helps you relax, and the boundaries you have that help you feel in control. The idea is to create a full list of self-care ideas that you can go to in moments of high stress. Then, post your plan in a visible area, like the fridge, for regular reminders about self-care.

An example of a Circle of Control. What does yours include?

An example of a Circle of Control. What does yours include?

Remember: It Takes Practice and Tools Can Help!

Using visual tools like Circles of Control and self-care plans can help you regain control over your emotions. Breaking down big, overwhelming problems into smaller, more manageable ones helps you take the first step in addressing them. Try creating your own Circle of Control and self-care plan using the templates below. And remember, self-care takes practice, and self-kindness!

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