Conflict in Family Relationships

We’ve all been there – arguing with our kids, arguing with each other, and feeling the stress and tension that everyday situations bring into our lives. Conflict can be a challenging thing to navigate with our family members. We may not know how to respond or intervene in the same way that we do in our other relationships.

Conflict is a normal part of our everyday lives and can teach us valuable skills like patience, communication, active listening and problem solving. However, knowing how to resolve conflict and mend hurt feelings so that everyone can heal can be the most valuable skill that we learn. 

As a part of our School Partnerships program at Ophelia’s Place, we talk with students and educators about what healthy and unhealthy dating relationships and friendships look like. But how do you know if your family relationships are healthy or unhealthy? How do you tell the difference between experiencing “big” conflict and typical fighting? And once you are able to identify what is happening in that relationship, what do you do to repair any damage you may have caused or change the way you handle these situations in the future? 

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict Within Your Family

The relationships we have are influenced heavily by the relationships that we’ve had in the past, and by those that have been modeled for us as we’ve grown up. For some, it might be easy to tell when a relationship is unhealthy, but to others it might be hard to detect. Here are some qualities of healthy and unhealthy relationships: 

Healthy:

• Respect

• Communication

• Boundaries

• Compromise

• Accountability

• Honesty

• Support

• Encouragement

• Forgiveness

• Validating/expressing emotions

• Trust

Unhealthy: 

• Disrespect

• Lying

• No boundaries

• Accusing

• Blaming/minimizing

• Name calling/screaming

• Withholding affection/love

• Threats

• Distrust

All families argue. All families reach their limits and sometimes handle situations in ways that they wish they could change. No one is perfect. (What’s perfection anyway?) We’re going to make mistakes and CONTINUE to make mistakes. However, the ways that we’re able to mend the hurt we cause can actually help make our relationships stronger and help us to build trust with one another. As adults, modeling accountability and being able to take responsibility for our actions and our words can be one of the most powerful things that we can do to build trust with our young people and actively demonstrate that we care about the relationship that we have with them. 

Learn more about healthy relationships and conflict resolution by participating in an adult education presentation in your home. Learn more by calling (541) 284-4333 or emailing info@opheliasplace.net.