Love Over Labels - The Definition of Parent

When you were growing up, who played the parent roles in your life? Maybe it was a traditional biological mom or dad. How about a step mom? Or two dads? What about the chosen parent or guardian? Or, what if it was an amazing grandparent or aunt?

Humans love labels. They help us compartmentalize situations and behaviors, or create connection and communication with others. However, labels can also limit experiences, curiosity, or create barriers.

Much like Ophelia’s Place has an expansive definition of “girl,” and/or “daughter,” we also recognize that the supportive adults in youths’ lives have many different names and identities. While “mom” or “dad” labels may be filled by adults based on pre-defined gender or biological roles, we understand that a mom role can be filled by an incredible mentor or aunt. A dad role might be filled by a supportive neighbor or family friend. And let’s not forget that parents can also identify as agender, genderfluid or nonbinary – outside the two-gender parent identities that we have been traditionally taught to recognize. We honor all the roles and names of the adults who “parent” the youth we serve.

According to the 2020 U.S. Census Bureau, 70 percent of all children under 18 years old lived in two-parent households. Also in 2020, 25 percent of children lived in single-parent households, 3 percent of children under 18 lived with other relatives besides a parent, and .9 percent - or 663,000 children – lived with non-relatives. Families can look lots of different ways.

As the definition of family continues to morph to meet the needs of a child, it’s important to recognize and support the parent/guardian/caregiver role and whoever fills it. All these supportive adults deserve to be supported and have access to learning effective parenting tools like communication, connection, modeling, boundary-setting, problem solving, and self-care.

Above all, having supportive adults in a youth’s life provides the opportunity to nurture their emotional and social development. Modeling a positive relationship can lay the foundation for their personality and life choices. It doesn’t take a specific “mother” or “father” to provide guidance and care. It takes love.